you dont have to be a saint...

i haven't been going to my youth group or bible study at all for the past month and a half. i wish i could say i missed it.

in my life there are extremes. in no aspect of my life can i be a happy medium. this is what leads me to my problem. i have made some decisions lately that i am less than happy about. everyday teenagers behave in ways that are embarrassing to the human race. until lately, i have been an exception to the rule. i wasn't one of those teens and i wasn't planning on becoming one. unforunately, my actions have proved to be symptoms of this stage of my life.

because of my recent actions, i have completely cut out youth group and bible study... which could quite possibly be an even worse decision. I feel like when i attend church three times a week i am SHOUTING out to the world that this is how my life is when i'm not at church also. So, when i attend all the extras at church, that is seriously how my life is outside of church. hypocrisy is one of my pet peeves and i wont be a hypocrit. i'm not going to attend all these church things while i'm not acting the same outside of church.. its hard to explain and few understand... but i just can't. pray that i will climb out of this hole i have dug for myself.

<3becca